Chapter 5: Vegas to Hollywood
One thing it seems I have never had a problem with is finding a lady friend. I also never had a problem losing them.
The girlfriend I had in L.A. decided one day to up and head to Las Vegas to become a dancer.
I followed her there.
By now, my Bitcoin business was starting to roll. I found an apartment, nee, Penthouse, for $1980.00/month. This was a steal compared to what I was spending in L.A. Besides, the place was top notch. It was, frankly, my favorite place I have lived so far.
There is something strange about me when it comes to work. I have always been a hard worker and busted my butt. When a girl is involved, I seem to go to ‘Ludicrous Speed.’
Business was picking up and doing so nicely. I started turning a profit of $8,000.00 to $10,000.00 a month with some months reaching $30,000.00.
Life was grand!
“I can resist anything but temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
I guess it was around March. I have never used drugs before in my life.
Until then. I cannot remember the details. Someone in my entourage introduced me to cocaine and molly.
I am in the party capital of the world. I have tons of income flowing in again. You would think I would have learned my lesson previously. I probably would have except these little white lines on the table.
My girl left me in April because I was not Andrew any longer. I became a Vegas party boy.
This is pretty much my life from April until about October:
Cocaine, alcohol, gambling, buying tables for the boys, Molly a few times a week. You know, nothing serious.
It was in Vegas I bought my Bentley. Paid cash for it. One night, I was riding the Strip, blitzed and probably on some quality cocaine.
I back into a jeep with a few girls in the jeep on accident. They freak. Probably from out of town, in a rental, etc.
The last thing I needed was trouble with the law. I convinced them to chill, let me pay cash and come back to my place.
None of these girls are my cup of tea mind you, but neither is the cell mate I could have in the Clark County Detention Center.
We roll back to the house. Party into the night/day/whatever.
I wake up to check the time.
There is no watch.
There is no Hublot.
There is no $15,000.00 watch on my wrist.
I stick it out until November.
Guess where I went?
“Most of the successful people in Hollywood are failures as human beings.” – Marlon Brando
I had money again. I found a mansion in Hollywood.
I was turning a profit. I was burning through cash on drugs. I would earn more money. I still do not know how I managed this. I am talking $50-100,000.00 a MONTH on frivolous crap. Clubbing, drugs, hookers, parties at the house on the weekends, people were sending me girls and people to come and hang. This went on for around a year.
“Cool story, Bro. Tell it again.” – Slogan on a t-shirt
Things happened in Hollywood I do not remember. A few things, however, stuck out to me. Here they are in no particular order:
“I wanna go fast.” – Ricky Bobby Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I had a Bentley. My friends in Colorado did not. They needed to know I had a Bentley. I took off to Colorado. I drove a Bentley.
I was basically a low flying black missle with the word ‘BENTLEY’ on it. I got pulled over.
The DUI sucked.
That was not the worst part.
I was a California resident. I got stopped in Colorado. My probation officer was in Colorado.
This meant the following:
I was in trouble – in two states;
I had to take DUI classes – in two states;
I had random urine testing – in one state;
I had to call in every 8 a.m. Mon-Fri for check in with the probation officer – in two states.
I also had money.
I hired someone to call for me every day. I could not do it. I was hung over and likely still binged out on cocaine.
“My family survived losing money to Bernie Madoff incredibly well compared to others.”
– Kevin Bacon
I GET SCREWED BY TWO HOOKERS
I was bored. I was high. I was drunk. I was also feeling amorous. I found two ‘ladies of the night’ on Back Page.
They came up the stairs at the house.
They got to the top and asked for their money – $500.00 each. Pocket change to me.
They had to go tell the driver all was well and would return.
They went back downstairs.
They did not come back.
That is how I got screwed by two hookers.
“The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese.” – Unknown
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
I was in Hollywood.
There are two speeds in Hollywood: Stop and a nanosecond under light speed.
I was drunk and blew a red light going at approximately MACH 3.
The police just knew I was hammered.
The police yanked me out of the car, slammed me on the hood and about cuffed me.
I wish I had played lottery that night.
A car came down La Brea Ave.
It too was a low flying missile with one exception.
The hood of the car was flopping like a flag in a hurricane.
The cops told me to STAY and took off after the car.
I was not in cuffs.
I was not at that location any longer either.
“That is really truly amazing. It’s so amazingly amazing. I think I’d like to steal it.
– Zaphod Beeblebox, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
I had a burning desire to spend a lot of money on not a lot of dog. I wanted a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier or Yorkie.
The average weight of a fully grown teacup Yorkie is approximately six pounds.
I spent $3,000.00 on a teacup Yorkie.
That is approximately $500.00 a pound for dog.
No, not a dog. An everlasting yip-yap machine. An alligator mouth in a hummingbird body.
Here is a brief list of things I could buy at $500.00 a pound:
One iPad Air;
Five cans of Russian caviar;
Roughly 131 pounds of fresh okra;
Approximately 167 gallons of diesel to move a U.S. aircraft carrier approximately 167 feet.
The dog’s name – Zeus. The chief god of the Greek Olympian pantheon. The strongest of all the gods – combined. The lightning bolt thrower, the oak tree, the man-ho and symbolized by the majestic eagle.
Zeus was stolen by a hooker I hired when I lived in Hollywood.
I hope he pissed all over the place and nipped at her John’s heels when they came over.
Little did I know how much my life would change in